"Funny Football Quotes" is your go-to collection for the best laughs from the world of soccer. From iconic one-liners by legendary players to quirky manager remarks, these hilarious football quotes capture the lighter side of the beautiful game. Perfect for fans who enjoy the mix of *funny sports quotes*, *football memes*, and *soccer jokes*, this list is packed with the latest trending quotes that showcase both wit and wisdom. Whether you’re looking to share on social media, spice up your fantasy league banter, or just enjoy a good laugh, these funny football quotes are sure to entertain fans everywhere in 2024!
Here are some classic funny football quotes for a good laugh:
- “Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.” — Bill Shankly
- “I couldn’t settle in Italy—it was like living in a foreign country.” — Ian Rush
- “I never comment on referees, and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.” — Ron Atkinson
- “Football’s not a matter of life and death… it’s more important than that.” — David Beckham
- “I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.” — Brian Clough
- “The rules of soccer are very simple: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn’t move, kick it until it does.” — Phil Woosnam
- “I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” — George Best
- “We lost because we didn’t win.” — Ronaldo Nazário
- “I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.” — Muhammad Ali
- "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." — Barry Venison
- “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. But if you can’t stand the pitch, get off the field!” — Unknown
- “I have a theory that the only way to get a fair deal from a football club is to be a footballer.” — Graham Taylor
- “It’s a funny old game, isn’t it?” — Jimmy Greaves
- “I’d like to be a mole in the referee’s ear.” — Ronald Koeman
- “I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.” — Jack Nicholson (paraphrased to fit football)
- “My idea of managing is giving the ball to Gary Lineker and telling him to score.” — Sir Bobby Robson
- “I’m not a very good golfer. I’m a good football player. But I can’t play golf to save my life!” — Wayne Rooney
- “I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m happy here. I’ve been here for two years now and I’ve got to think of my future. I might stay here for a few more years.” — Ronaldinho
- “You can’t win anything with kids… unless they’re really, really good.” — Alan Hansen
- “Football is a simple game: 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.” — Gary Lineker
- “The problem with referees is that they know the rules, but they don’t know the game.” — Bill Shankly
- “Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win.” — Vinny Jones
- “When they don’t score, they hardly ever win.” — George Graham
- “I’m not a defender of old or new football managers. I believe in good ones and bad ones; those that achieve success and those that don’t.” — Jose Mourinho
- “The thing about football—the important thing about football—is that it is not just about football.” — Sir Terry Pratchett
- “Sometimes in football you have to score goals.” — Thierry Henry
- “I don’t believe in superstition, because it brings bad luck.” — Raymond Domenech
- “I think having a good-looking face is the hardest thing to have in football. Other than talent, I guess.” — David Beckham
- “There’s nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch.” — Ron Atkinson on Sir Stanley Matthews at 70
- “Football is all very well as a game for rough girls, but it is hardly suitable for delicate boys.” — Oscar Wilde
- “He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it—you can see it all over their faces.” — Ron Atkinson
- “Sometimes I feel I’m hardly wanted in this marriage. Hey, it’s my ball!” — Darren Bent
- “The first 90 minutes are the most important.” — Sir Bobby Robson
- “To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.” — Ruud Gullit
- “I wouldn’t say I’m the best manager in the business. But I’m in the top one.” — Brian Clough
- “For a player to stay a whole lifetime at a single club, it just doesn’t happen anymore. You get a spell, then you’re gone, like a good manager.” — Harry Redknapp
- “I’ve had 14 bookings this season—eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable.” — Paul Gascoigne
- “I’m an international player who takes risks. That’s how I play, and if you don’t like it, buy another player!” — Zlatan Ibrahimović
- “I didn’t see the incident, but I’m going to have a guess at what happened.” — Lawrie McMenemy
- “Football management is like getting a dog. You buy it thinking it’s going to be fantastic, and then you realize it’s going to mess the house up.” — Gianluca Vialli
- “I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the world, but I was in the top one.” — Brian Clough
- “If you eat caviar every day, it’s difficult to return to sausages.” — Arsène Wenger
- “If you don’t believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.” — Neville Southall
- “I wouldn’t be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.” — Mark Viduka
- “Footballers are no different from human beings.” — Graham Taylor
- “My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven.” — David Beckham
- “He’s one of those footballers whose brains are in his head.” — Derek Johnstone
- “There is no pressure at the top. The pressure’s being second or third.” — José Mourinho
- “I’ve told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones.” — Chris Turner
- “He’s a specialist in failure.” — José Mourinho on Arsène Wenger
