Here are some funny cat quotes for all the cat lovers out there:
"In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." — Terry Pratchett
"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort." — James Herriot
"Cats have it all: admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it." — Rod McKuen
"Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later." — Mary Bly
"I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days." — Bill Dana
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." — Jeff Valdez
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." — Albert Schweitzer
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." — Ellen Perry Berkeley
"My cat doesn’t like anyone else. I think she’s racist… against humans." — Unknown
"A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution." — Hazel Nicholson
"If cats could talk, they wouldn’t." — Nan Porter
"Cats do care. For example, they know exactly when we’re eating – and that’s when they want to be fed too." — Unknown
"Cats rule the world." — Jim Davis, creator of Garfield
"The phrase ‘domestic cat’ is an oxymoron." — George F. Will
"The only mystery about cats is why they ever decided to become domesticated." — Sir Compton Mackenzie
"Meow means ‘woof’ in cat." — George Carlin
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." — Sigmund Freud
"You can’t look at a sleeping cat and feel tense." — Jane Pauley
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." — Hippolyte Taine
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose." — Garrison Keillor
"A cat is only domesticated as far as it chooses to be." — Saki
"If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surely vote for the purr." — Barbara L. Diamond
"Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties." — W.L. George
"Cats have it all – unlike dogs, they don't need to compromise." — Unknown
"One cat just leads to another." — Ernest Hemingway
"I’ve found that the way a cat walks is a philosophy in itself." — Unknown
"A cat will do what it wants when it wants, and there’s not a thing you can do about it." — Frank Perkins
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." — Leonardo da Vinci
"Cats leave paw prints on our hearts, and sometimes on our furniture too." — Unknown
"My cat is not lazy; she’s in energy-conserving mode." — Unknown
"Cats are like potato chips—you can’t have just one." — Unknown
"In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats." — English Proverb
"The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer." — Paula Poundstone
"Owners of dogs will have noticed that if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God." — Christopher Hitchens
"My cat speaks sign language with her tail." — Robert A. Stern
"A cat purring on your lap is more healing than any drug in the world, as the vibrations you are receiving are of pure love and contentment." — St. Francis of Assisi
"Cats are like music. It’s foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don’t appreciate them." — Unknown
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens." — Abraham Lincoln
"The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world." — Lynn M. Osband
"To err is human; to purr is feline." — Robert Byrne
"The cat is above all things, a dramatist." — Margaret Benson
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." — Unknown
"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff." — Unknown
"Cats are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." — Unknown
"A cat will never drown if she sees the shore." — French Proverb
"The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal—or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be." — Elizabeth Peters
"Cats don’t scratch. They’re just marking you as their human." — Unknown
"One cat just leads to another, and before you know it, you’re a full-fledged cat person." — Unknown
"Cats are experts at teaching us how to sit still and do absolutely nothing for long periods." — Unknown
"My cat isn’t spoiled; I’m just well-trained." — Unknown
"Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming." — James Gorman
"A cat’s motto: No need to hurry, no need to worry." — Unknown
"Dogs have their day, but cats have 365." — Lilian Jackson Braun
"Cats could have run the world if they hadn’t been so busy sleeping all day." — Unknown
"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more than she is to me?" — Michel de Montaigne
"Some people say cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." — Missy Dizick
"Cats do not have to be shown how to have a good time, for they are unfailing ingenious in that respect." — James Mason
"Never try to outstubborn a cat." — Robert A. Heinlein
"A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people, and many cats prefer people to other cats." — Mason Cooley
"Every dog has his day – unless he loses his tail, then he has a weak-end." — June Carter Cash
